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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Fantasizing During Sex

Ever fantasize during sex? See another man in your mind's eye while with your husband or lover? Imagine a stranger touched you? The sexy new neighbor? Your boss?

Ever wonder just how many women do? Think you are part of a minority and that revealing this dirty secret would be like admitting you cheated?

Studies have shown that more than 80 percent of women fantasize during sex. So, relax! You're not alone. You've just discovered what many women have. Sometimes, we need a little something extra to help us over that edge. We have so much on our minds -- children, work, bills, schedules -- that we have to detach from our world to achieve sexual release. And, yes, your man, as much as you love him and consider him a hunk, is part of that world.

All day, women play by the rules. I can see you shaking your head and almost hear you saying, "Not me." You do. Are you a mother? When you get those kids to school 'on time' and drop them off, how many times do you feel that tiny stab of panic? Did you fail to sign a permission slip and thus doom your child to miss a coming field trip? Was there money due for books, a bake sale, or school boutique and now, 'because you failed', your child will have to sit and watch the other children, the ones whose mothers remembered? What about work? You dress the part, work harder than most of the men in an attempt to strip away that ever-present idea that a man can do your job better. How many of us are lucky enough to have husbands who make sure the pantry isn't bare? How many of us have men who don't come home, eat what we cooked, then hit the couch while we clean, help the kids with homework, and finish that load of laundry. Who keeps track of the birthdays in the family? The holidays? Those special occasions that demand a call? If your son missed the final signup day for a sport, who is blamed? Your husband may be pushing to get his son on the football team, but you are usually the one keeping track of the calendar. Your boyfriend wants you to meet his friends. Did you get that upper lip waxed? Will you have a chance tomorrow?

And so, at the end of the day, when your mind is tangled up with the next day's tasks, you close your eyes and feel your boyfriend/husband's hand creep up your thigh. That touch reminds you that his suit is in the cleaners and he expects to wear it to a dinner meeting tomorrow night. Panic. His finger slips under the crotch of your panty or thong. It feels good, but is joining hands with your subconscious in a 'don't forget the suit' chant. He raises your nightgown. Sucks your nipple into his mouth. The kids! Did you make sure they had clean socks for school? A nibble on your ear, and you remember that the bill for those new earrings was due yesterday. Forget the earrings, your car payment is due. Was it tomorrow? Last week? You start balancing your checkbook.

Get the idea? Sometimes, when life's endless tasks get in the way, you have to detach for a little sexual release. The man with you is too close to all those things you so need to forget. But that hunk who smiled at you while you waited at the traffic light isn't. You'd never cheat on your husband with your new neighbor, the man is a bore, but he sure has a tight ass and huge muscles. You close your eyes and lose yourself. That stranger has no connection to the woes and worries of your life.

Another benny? If you want to be tossed over his lap and spanked, you don't even have to ask or worry that he will look at you like you're nuts. As soon as the idea enters your mind, that fantasy hunk will play out any decadent fantasy you can manifest.

So, fantasize during sex. Release yourself. In a way, you will also help your man. He'll know when you are balancing that check book. Believe me. And he might know when you are fantasizing. Maybe, if you are really daring, you can whisper your fantasy in his ear and turn the night in to one of wild role playing. But beware! It's addicting.

Do you fantasize? Have a favorite one you'd like to share?